How to be a man?
HOW TO BE A MAN
I have read an article and these are the following things I have found talking about how to be a man.
1. Make
real decisions.
A man understands
and respects the power of choice. He lives a life of his own creation. He knows
that life stagnates when he fails to decide and flourishes when he chooses a
clear path.
When a man makes a
decision, he opens the door he wants and closes the doors he doesn’t want. He
locks onto his target like a guided missile. There’s no guarantee he’ll reach
his target, and he knows this, but he doesn’t need such guarantees. He simply
enjoys the sense of inevitability that comes from pushing the launch button.
2. Put your
relationships second.
A man who claims
his #1 commitment in life is his relationship partner (or his family) is either
too dishonest or too weak to be trusted. His loyalties are misplaced. A man who
values individuals above his own integrity is a wretch, not a free thinker.
A man knows he must
commit to something greater than satisfying the needs of a few people. He’s not
willing to be domesticated, but he is willing to accept the responsibility
that comes with greater challenges. He knows that when he shirks that duty, he
becomes something less than a man. When others observe that the man is
unyieldingly committed to his values and ideals, he gains their trust and
respect, even when he cannot gain their direct support. The surest way for a
man to lose the respect of others (as well as his self-respect) is to violate
his own values.
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Life will test the
man to see if he’s willing to put loyalty to others ahead of loyalty to his
principles. The man will be offered many temptations to expose his true
loyalties. A man’s greatest reward is to live with integrity, and his greatest
punishment is what he inflicts upon himself for placing anything above his
integrity. Whenever the man sacrifices his integrity, he loses his freedom… and
himself as well. He becomes an object of pity.
3. Be
willing to fail.
A man is willing to
make mistakes. He’s willing to be wrong. He’d rather try and fail than do
nothing.
A man grows more
from failure than he does from success. Success cannot test his resolve in the
way that failure can. Success has its challenges, but a man learns more about
himself when he takes on challenges that involve risk. When a man plays it
safe, his vitality is lost, and he loses his edge.
4. Be
confident.
A man speaks and
acts with confidence. He owns his attitude.
A man doesn’t adopt
a confident posture because he knows he’ll succeed. He often knows that failure
is a likely outcome. But when the odds of success are clearly against him, he
still exudes confidence. It isn’t because he’s ignorant or suffering from
denial. It’s because he’s proving to himself that he has the strength to
transcend his self-doubt. This builds his courage and persistence, two of his
most valuable allies.
A man is willing to
be defeated by the world. He’s willing to be taken down by circumstances beyond
his control. But he refuses to be overwhelmed by his own self-doubt. He knows
that when he stops trusting himself, he is surely lost. He’ll surrender to fate
when necessary, but he won’t surrender to fear.
5. Express
love actively.
A man is an active
giver of love, not a passive receiver. A man is the first to initiate a
conversation, the first to ask for what’s needed, and the first to say “I love
you.” Waiting for someone else to make the first move is unbecoming of him. The
universe does not respond positively to his hesitation. Only when he’s in
motion do the floodgates of abundance open.
Man is the
out-breath of source energy. It is his job — his duty — to share his love with
the world. He must wean himself from suckling the energy of others and become a
vibrant transmitter of energy himself. He must allow that energy to flow from
source, through him, and into the world. When he assumes this role, he has no
doubt he is living as his true self.
6.
Re-channel sex energy.
A man doesn’t hide
his sexuality. If others shrink from him because he’s too masculine, he allows
them to have their reaction. There’s no need for him to lower his energy just
to avoid frightening the timid. A man accepts the consequences of being male;
he makes no apologies for his nature.
A man is careful
not to allow his energy to get stuck at the level of lust. He re-channels much
of his sexual energy into his heart and head, where it can serve his higher
values instead of just his animal instincts. (You can do this by visualizing
the energy rising, expanding, and eventually flowing throughout your entire
body and beyond.)
A man channels his
sexual energy into his heart-centered pursuits. He feels such energy pulsing within
him, driving him to action. He feels uncomfortable standing still. He allows
his sexual energy to explode through his heart, not just his genitals.
7. Face your fears.
For a man, being
afraid of something is reason enough to do it. A man’s fear is a call to be
tested. When a man hides from his fears, he knows he’s fallen out of alignment
with his true self. He feels weak, depressed, and helpless. No matter how hard
he tries to comfort himself and achieve a state of peace, he cannot overcome
his inner feeling of dread. Only when facing his fears does a man experience
peace.
A man makes a
friend of risk. He doesn’t run and hide from the tests of fear. He turns toward
them and engages them boldly.
A man succeeds or
fails. A coward never makes the attempt. Specific outcomes are of less concern
to a man than his direction.
A man feels like a
man whenever he faces the right way, staring straight into his fears. He feels
even more like a man when he advances in the direction of his fears, as if
sailing on the winds of an inner scream.
8. Honor
the masculinity of other men.
When a man sees a
male friend undertaking a new venture that will clearly lead to failure, what
does the man do? Does he warn his friend off such a path? No, the man
encourages his friend to continue. The man knows it’s better for his friend to
strike out confidently and learn from the failure experience. The man honors
his friend’s decision to reach out and make the attempt. The man won’t deny his
friend the benefits of a failure experience. The man may offer his friend
guidance, but he knows his friend must fail repeatedly in order to develop
self-trust and courage.
When you see a man
at the gym struggling to lift a heavy weight, do you jump in and say, “Here…
let me help you with that. Maybe the two of us can lift it together”? No, that
would rob him of the growth experience — and probably make a quick enemy of him
as well.
The male path is
filled with obstacles. It typically includes more failures than successes.
These obstacles help a man discover what’s truly important to him. Through
repeated failures a man learns to persist in the pursuit of worthy goals and to
abandon goals that are unworthy of him.
A man can handle
being knocked down many times. For every physical setback he experiences, he
enjoys a spiritual advancement, and that is enough for him.
9. Accept
responsibility for your relationships.
A man chooses his
friends, lovers, and associates consciously. He actively seeks out the company
of people who inspire and challenge him, and he willingly sheds those who hold
him back.
A man doesn’t blame
others for his relationship problems. When a relationship is no longer
compatible with his heart-centered path, he initiates the break-up and departs
without blame or guilt.
A man holds himself
accountable for the relationships he allows into his life. He holds others
accountable for their behavior, but he holds himself accountable for his
decision to tolerate such behavior.
A man teaches
others how to treat him by the relationships he’s willing to allow into his
life. A man refuses to fill his life with negative or destructive
relationships; he knows that’s a form of self-abuse.
10. Die
well.
A man’s great
challenge is to develop the inner strength to express his true self. He must
learn to share his love with the world without holding back. When a man is
satisfied that he’s done that, he can make peace with death. But if he fails to
do so, death becomes his enemy and haunts him all the days of his life.
A man cannot die
well unless he lives well. A man lives well when he accepts his mortality and
draws strength from knowing that his physical existence is temporary. When a
man faces and accepts the inevitability of death… when he learns to see death
as his ally instead of his enemy… he’s finally able to express his true self.
So a man isn’t ready to live until he accepts that he’s already dead.
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